Saturday was a long day. It was one of those days where I was wishing for another weekend just to recover from the day I had just had. The day started going 90 miles an hour and it just didn’t stop until about bed time.
As the evening came to a close we made the decision to stop by the grocery store to pick up something quick and easy for dinner. The girls grabbed some premade salads, Dusty and I both snagged a TV dinner, and Collin just wanted a small box of mozzarella sticks. Seems easy enough to managed, right? Well, let me tell you. By the time we got home and were settling things my brain was completely fried.
As I warmed up mine and Dusty’s meals in the microwave I popped Collin’s mozzarella sticks into the oven. And then I promptly forgot all about them. About 25 minutes later as I was sitting on the couch sipping my tea and taking the first bite of my chicken pot pie I suddenly remembered the now very burnt mozzarella sticks in the oven. And I felt like the worst mom on the planet. My poor boy, who just wanted a little snack, now had nothing left but charcoal sticks. It was a moment that very easily could have ended in anger, frustration, and possibly tears. But I was pleasantly surprised when none of those things happened.
Over the course of my time as a homemaker I have really tried to lean into the idea that I as the mom am the one that more often than not will be the one that sets the tone in my home. That means when things like what happened on Saturday rather than allowing the anger and frustration ruin an opportunity to be loving and understanding I was able to use the situation to help make things calm and resolve the problem peacefully. Here are a few things to think about when things sometimes go wrong.
Be Honest About The Mistake That Was Made
Admitting a mistake was made is often a hard thing to do, even when the evidence is clear and out in the open. This seems especially true when we are dealing with our children. For some reason society has convinced people that we don’t need to admit our mistakes to our children for fear of them perceiving us as weak or something along those lines. Unfortunately, all that attitude does is perpetuate the toxic behaviors that many people have been around for generations. When we take time to admit our mistakes, especially to our children, we allow them to see our humanity and our need for grace and understanding. It provides them with an opportunity to practice patience and forgiveness in their own lives.
Provide Options for a Solution
When there is an ability, providing options for how to resolve the issue. In the case of the burned dinner I was able to offer two different solutions to ensure that Collin would still be able to get something to eat. This helped him to feel like I really did feel remorseful for my actions as well as helped him to not feel a need to “settle’ after the thing he desired was taken away from him. While not always a possibility, it does help to ease some of the tensions that might be building up.
Give Yourself A Little Bit of Grace
I have often found that when I make mistakes and I don’t allow myself a little bit of grace and understanding of my own limitations that is when my temper will flare, my attitude will get out of control, and the tone of my home will go downhill fast. When I admit my limitations and the fact that those limitations are part of what lead to the mistake that was made I am able to look at the situation with a fresh perspective. It is through that grace given to myself that I am able to ask for forgiveness from the person or people the mistake most effects.
Saturday, by the time we finally made it home, left me drained and this means I dropped a ball that left a person in my care in a lurch. While there were a lot of ways the situation could have been handled, I am happy that through open, honest communication, and a developed ability from everyone involved to look at each other through a lens of grace and understanding we were able to resolve the issue without hurt feelings or frustration.
How do you diffuse difficult situations in your home when mistakes are made? I’d love to know in the comments.