We hear about them from time to time but in today’s day and age it seems that as soon as you try to put them into place you someone is going to get their feelings hurt or become offended. It seems like with the rise in the use of social media and the fact that people have a tendency to live their whole lives online that as soon as boundaries begin to be put into place we are committing some form of atrocity.
The problem is no matter how much we like to claim that we are open books no one should have unrestricted total access to our lives upon a whim. It’s not healthy in a number of different ways. Giving people access to you, your life, and your family 100% of the time opens up for resentment, anger, frustration, and possibly even abuse.
This week on Married and Replanting Dusty and I have a conversation about what it looks like to set healthy boundaries. We talk about setting these boundaries in our marriages, although these boundaries should probably be less rigid than others. We also talk about setting healthy boundaries within the church and ministry. As a pastor, Dusty shares how sometimes it can be hard to set those boundaries due to the intense feeling of responsibility to care for all the members of the church in whatever ways they need. However, he also shares that if healthy boundaries aren’t set early on the family, his first ministry, will be the one that suffers.
As a pastor’s wife I also share that from my perspective the biggest thing necessary in setting those boundaries is an open, honest line of communication. Making sure that everyone is on the same page will help to eliminate hurt feelings and confusion. It is also important to remember that sometimes we want to use the excuse of setting boundaries as an excuse to get out of fulfilling commands found in Scripture. Just because we are setting healthy boundaries does not mean we can shirk the responsibility of hospitality. We also can not use boundaries as an excuse to not develop relationships with those God has placed in our path.
No matter how you choose to set your boundaries the most important part is to remember to test everything against Scripture.
So grab a cup of coffee, a glass of tea, or your favorite soda and join us in our conversation about setting healthy boundaries in life, marriage, and ministry.