Writer’s block has been a real struggle for me lately. Every time I have sat down to write out today’s post I just can’t seem to figure out what it is I am wanting to say. I have wanted this little space on the internet to be motivating, uplifting, encouraging, and all the fun things. However, lately I just haven’t been feeling it. I don’t know if it is exhaustion, frustration, weather, or just life in general but I have just not been able to find the words.
While I have wanted this space to be a place that is all those fun and pleasant things I just mentioned I also want to be real and authentic. I get really annoyed when I see the carefully cultivated posts that make life seem like every single day is a ray of sunshine and rainbows. While I have no doubt that I am simply seeing the highlight reel of peoples lives it makes it for a very discouraging moment. I like to see the things that make it on the cutting room floor. I think it’s important that we are willing to show that things sometimes just aren’t going well.
One of the things I have been working on trying to do lately is really allow myself to tell my own story, from my own perspective. The problem with that is I am a hard core people pleaser. For as long as I can remember I have always spent more time weighing the cost of the words I would say, the actions I would take, or the decisions I would make than actually doing any of those things because I wanted to be as close to 100% sure that I wouldn’t be hurting anyone’s feelings or upsetting anyone when I said, did, acted in a certain way. This has caused me to really close off my telling of my own story.
While I don’t want to be the person that airs out anyone else’s dirty laundry I also feel like it is becoming more and more imperative that I learn to tell my story, my memory of my own life, the way I remember it. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And I think that it is important that others are able to learn to do the same as well.
Will it possibly hurt people in the long run? Probably. That is an unfortunate consequence of living in this very fallen, very hurt world. We all have had moments where we have been wounded and we have all had moments where we have done the wounding, weather we were meaning to or not. It’s inescapable. Pain and heartache are all part of the human condition. It is a reminder of just how much we really do need Christ in our lives. It reminds us that we have a glorious perfect world to look forward to when Jesus returns.
So for now, I’m going to work on telling my story, my way. And this is going to serve as the public apology to anyone that may get dragged along with me. By no means do I intend to be the cause of pain, anger, frustration, or sadness. What I mean to do is share my experiences the way I experienced them. I will do my best to leave names, specific dates, times, and locations out to protect any and all involved but sometimes that just may not be the easiest thing to do.
And that is my challenge to you on this very late Motivation Monday. Start telling your story. And know that there are three sides to everything. Your side, their side, and the truth that probably lies somewhere in the middle.
Until next time,