I love learning.
I love sitting in a classroom as someone who is generally much smarter than me is explaining things that I really want to know.
I thrive in a classroom setting. I look forward to each and every Tuesday and Thursday morning right now and each and ever Tuesday night. I can’t wait to get to class and have the opportunity to have someone pour their knowledge out so that I sop it up.
What I don’t like it the homework end of learning.
Actually, I can’t stand it.
I used to be good with homework. (well everything except math) I didn’t mind sitting down at the kitchen table ans read the text that was assigned and take my own notes from that. Answered assigned questions or writing papers on various subjects.
My senior year of high school, while all my class mates were dreading writing their required English term paper and giving a presentation on it I was excited. I did more research than was required and I even brought in props for the presentation.
In College I would have my papers written weeks in advance most times.
Now, I am struggling to get through a book that is a simple 133 pages long that I have to have a book review written for by the beginning of October. And another book, that originally I was very excited to read, has now just become another text book that I can’t get through.
It’s not a matter of these books are hard to understand. Its a matter of I just don’t know when or how to find the time. (I know I know, how about now instead of complaining about having no time….)
I take time to sit down when the kids are napping and I begin to read. Then my mind wanders to the dishes that need to be washed, the laundry that needs to be folded, and the floors that need to be cleaned. I try to read a bit while the kids are playing nicely together and I wonder if I am neglecting them in this endeavor. I feel like no matter what direction I turn I’m running out of time.
So instead of going to bed at a nice hour I stay up, and then I fall asleep reading or writing only to wake up and find that I have absolutely no idea where I was or what I was writing about. And in the end I give up because I am just too tired.
Have I bitten off more than I can chew this time?
Some days I think the answer might just be yes. But because I LOVE learning and I want to hopefully instill that love of learning in my kids, and to do that I have to be prepared to teach them new things, I will continue on. Sleep deprived and dirty dishes won’t stop me this time.