Be real. I have heard that a lot lately from various places. So that’s what I’m going to try and do. Get a little bit more real. I’m going to share as close to daily as I can about the down and dirty parts of life here in the Marshall household. The names and places may be changed when sharing my stories to protect the innocent (ok probably not). But I think its time to pull back the veil on life in seminary, ministry, and this crazy world we live in. Welcome to Perfectionist Confessions.
Today I tackled a fear. It’s a dumb fear but, if we are honest, aren’t all fears pretty dumb?
The fear was finally getting my Texas drivers license.
See a while back I was out running errands and in the process I lost my license. I had slipped it into my back pocket and at some point between putting in and taking out all the other things I was carrying my license must have fallen out. Should have been an easy enough fix but the problem is that my ID was from New Mexico. And everything I had been reading online said I would have to take the written drivers test all over again. That was something I absolutely did not want to have to do.
We made the plans to go get both ours renewed today because Dusty’s will expire soon. I thought I had done all my homework and we were going to have everything we needed. Boy was I wrong. Can I just say that it is beyond ridiculous the hoops people have to jump through to get a silly little plastic card that says you are capable of operating a vehicle. It’s just insane.
In the end we walked out with all my ducks in a row and me now officially being a full fledged Texas resident. Dusty, on the other hand, will have to wait a few more days. We are praying that the last piece of the puzzle arrive before Friday so he can get back down there and get squared away before his NM license expires. If not he will be the one having to retake all the tests. And lets be honest, who wants to do that? No one. The answer is no one.
So why was this simple task one of my biggest fears? Who knows. The truth is I have always dreaded anything that has to do with driving. It took my grandfather finally getting fed up with my mom and I fighting for me to be forced to learn to drive. Then I stalled the process of actually taking my drivers test in high school. While everyone I knew was rushing to the DMV I was just glad I had a boyfriend and a best friend who could drive. I dreaded going into the office when I had to renew and when I had to have my ID changes after I got married. Driving and I just haven’t ever been the best of friends.
The funny thing is I’m not a bad driver. At least I don’t think I am. I don’t speed, I use my turn signals, I follow the rules and I have only been in 1 accident that I was behind the wheel for. And even that wasn’t my fault. So why am I so scared of driving? Who knows, I am sure there is some deep psychological issue somewhere that I could spend time exploring but that sounds like a lot of work. All I know is I am now completely legal to drive in the state of Texas. And I am also registered to vote in Texas, which is convenient since they generally use our student center as a polling place, but that is a whole different level of anxiety for another day. So for now, I am going to sign on and attempt to go to bed.