Hi. My name is Elizabeth and I am a people pleaser.
Yep, its true. Always have been. And until recently I was sure I would always be trapped in this constant cycle of striving to please everyone around me and ultimately getting no where and just feeling frustrated and overwhelmed.
I am the type of person that just can’t stand disappointing others around me. I don’t like being the one that has to “let people down”, even if that means putting my wants and often time my needs on the back burner. I can handle someone being angry with me, yelling at me, calling me all kinds of ugly things but the minute you tell me I have disappointed you I will crumble into a million tiny pieces.
I have made all the decisions in my life base on this foundation. I take the time to think things through when a challenge or opportunity presents itself. However, often times the evaluation is done though the lense of “what will (insert name here) think?”
How will my friends react to my decisions? Will they laugh or make fun of me?
What will my parents think if we do this or that thing? Will they still support and be proud of me?
If I write, read, study (insert subject hereh will my professors still see potential in me? Will they still invest time in me or will I become a lost cause?
All of these are things that pass through my mind as I attempt to navigate through my daily life.
The more I found myself living this life of questioning and seconding guessing the more I began to feel I was drifting further and further away from my walk with the Lord.
As I began researching what the Bible has to say about being a people pleaser I stumbled upon a blog that was written by Pastor Rick Warren on his blog. In this blog he talked about how being a people pleaser is, in reality, a form of idolatry.
According to the Merriam-Webster website Idolatry is defined as:
- 1: the worship of a physical object as a god
- 2: immoderate attachment or devotion to something.
When God brought the Israelite people out of Egypt and a life of slavery He gave them 10 basic rules to follow, His 10 Commandments.
The first of the commandments tells us to have no other gods before the one true Lord. The second commandment says to not make an idol for yourself. (Ephesians 20)
Taking into account what the Bible says and adding to that what the dictionary defines idolatry to be I realized just how guilty of breaking these 2 commandments I really am.
You see, the more I focus on what the PEOPLE around me thing, feel, and will react to the decisions I make in my life the less time I have to focus on what the one individual that really matters thinks about my decision making skills.
Paul says in Galatians 1:10
10 Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people?<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29068T" data-link="(T)” style=”background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: “helvetica neue” , “verdana” , “helvetica” , “arial” , sans-serif; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;”> If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
I had never stopped to take into consideration that by my desire to have every individual around me like me, approve of my life choices, and be proud of me I was isolating and ignoring the One who ultimately matters. The one who created me, loves me, and died for me.